Habits

Hi and Hello!

I want to talk about habits. We all have them, good habits, bad habits, sleeping habits, nervous habits...just habits. I want to maybe talk about some of my various habits and maybe give a little advice about breaking those unfavorable habits and adopting better ones.

So, first of all I'm the the first to be honest about myself and all of my bad traits. Often this leads to me ignoring many of my good traits. *GASP* I know, right? I actually have those, who would've thought? But anyway, I can usually discern what I'm doing wrong in my life and how or if it can be fixed, whether I choose to or not. I have A LOT of bad habits, but I'll just name a few and give some tips to help you combat your bad habits.

1) So, I'm really bad at keeping my room (anything really) clean after initially cleaning it. I know I'm not the only one who is like this, so don't cast your judgment upon me!

Ahem. Picture this: Your home, or in your box, or your hut, or your spaceship, wherever your living quarters are, and you have some free time (or a nagger on your back...). You decide to do some tidying up which leads to some hardcore cleaning and voila! Your space is the cleanest it has ever been in a long time. You are so proud of yourself. But then, dammit you need something, but can't find it. You patiently search trying to recall where you had placed everything. You eventually find what you are looking for and the space still looks spectacular! Good job you. :) You are able to maintain this behavior for about a three days to a week; but, then you get busy, less patient, lazy, irritated, always in a hurry, etc. Sound familiar? That is me... and I am you...I am you. Just kidding, but you have come to realize that there is  an order within your chaos that you have come to accept. 

This is not acceptable!

This type of acceptance is one of the reasons that nothing can stay clean. You seem to know where everything is when your space is dirty, but can find nothing when it is perfectly clean. You need to give yourself a new definition of order and retrain yourself to function within in it that way when your space starts to become disorganized, you can tackle the mess before it becomes out of control. Once it becomes out of control, then you really don't want to touch it and that's not helping either. Having a dirty space leads to fungi growth, invitations for creatures to move in, sickness, dust, bugs moving in, smells, and much more. Even if you're not consciously bothered, your body can tell when it is not in an optimal environment. It is good to keep your space clean so that you don't have fight these irritants all of the time and you can reduce your risk for disease.

I know I clean my room thoroughly about once a month. Not good at all. You'd think it'd be cleaner since I'm hardly home and that is just the opposite. I come in, I throw ff my things, I sleep, shower eat, then I'm out again. On weekends I don't want to do anything. What I should be doing, putting my things away in a neater, less hurried fashion. Even if I'm tired, I should make an attempt to reduce the level of disorganization as much as possible for the next time I have time to clean up. Of course we all have those days when we are dead tired and just want to collapse, but on normal days, we can put in a little more effort.

Now for the tips!

So, I must first initiate a challenge! When you go back to space, no matter what other things you have to do, make a conscious effort to tidy up. even if it's just for five or ten minutes. Put some things away. wash the dishes, sweep, mop, whatever will reduce the amount of dirt and chaos in your space. Do this everyday for a week and each days pend a little more time cleaning. Add five minutes to your previous time spent and clean something new each time. I guarantee you'll see a reduction in mess and amount you'll have to do during the next week. eventually, it will end up that you'll have basically nothing to do. This is my challenge and I will be doing the same thing. I will share my results. In a week!

Aside from my challenge, you could also try creating a schedule for yourself and implementing it. Yes, people,I'm talking about giving yourself chores. Despite how you felt about them as kids, you can't deny their effectiveness when you actually did them right. If you didn't have chores, then there's no hope for you...just kidding. Ask your average black kid what it was like. So yea, schedule.

My go to thing is setting certain days aside for specific tasks. Pic a day to be the day you clean your space.

Reward yourself for every day you keep your space clean (not with food). Incentives are always nice. "I can go out once the dishes are done" or "I won't get a whooping if my room is clean." Just small things like that.

2) Where are all of my emotional eaters? Whoo!!

Stop that shit...stop it now. I am a huge emotional eater. Happy, sad, bored, excited, angry. dead tired and have to crawl to that delicious looking piece of pie...yea...it doesn't matter, any event is a reason for food. This is both physically and mentally unhealthy. If you do this, you have to stop.

Of course I have challenge. :)

Whenever you are feeling like you want to eat, but you're not actually hungry do something that takes you away from the kitchen or wherever food is available. Get yourself into more healthy and productive activities. Go for a walk; if you must eat, grab some fruit or yogurt-make healthier snack choices; go to the gym a few times a week; learn something new, I know you live on your electronics so make it useful; make something, anything that helps to keep you busy and not thinking about food.

The thing is, you're just looking for something to do and food is easy, accessible, and you don't have to move much. If you are happy, then put that energy into making someone else happy, or just dance around--trust me it's fun. If you are sad, then write or talk about it. Comfort food will only warm you through the body fat that you will inevitably pack on...But seriously, emotional eating is a terrible and unhealthy habit. Let's be better to ourselves, kay?

This is getting long. Don't wanna keep you away from your precious YouTube for much longer...

So, the moral of today's post is that in order to get out of habits, you must first be able to recognize them. Only then, will you be able to determine what will be the best course of action for you to combat them. I named my two biggest bad habits and I have tried or will try to lessen them and create good habits. Over the years I have made progress and I hope you will too. 

In the mean time, check out my other posts and Click here to come to my YouTube page for other discussions. Ask questions, email me with topics you want to talk about, or tell me what you think about what I'm doing.

Until Next time!

Adios!

An Uphill Battle

I often find myself falling these days. Not physically falling, but emotionally and mentally falling. Lately, it just feels like nothing is going right. I feel like a huge waste of space and it's hard to get out of those moods once I'm inside. I have a stubborn personality, so even if someone is trying to cheer me up, I'm determined to stew in my bad mood. That is not, at all, a healthy approach. Sometimes doing that leads to dangerous thoughts.

Have you ever just felt so low, that it seems like no one would care if you just disappeared? It feels like no one cares about you or has ever cared about you? Sometimes I feel that way and it's a dangerous place for my mind to be. I have a history of giving in to those thoughts and it's visible for anyone who has ever met me. Sometimes when people get to know me, they ask questions about it, but I avoid them because I actually feel ashamed. I don't want people to see the old me, when a new me is sitting right in front of them. It takes everything I have, not to go back to old me. I'm not just talking about giving in to those thoughts, but just the personality and disposition that I used to have in general.

Sometimes traits from that old disposition come back and get in the way of my new life. Some of those traits never really went away. I try to keep them at bay and everyday it's a struggle. When they manage to get out, I feel like I've failed and I get this sinking feeling. I'm falling. I feel like I've failed myself and everyone who loves me. I started punishing myself by pushing them away. I reject anything they've ever given me and anything they try to give me as a way to help me. I know that I don't have to do this, but in my mind, I'm taking everything from myself before they get the satisfaction of taking it from me first. That's not healthy. Everyday it's a struggle to not let those emotions get the best of me. Sometimes they win.

So, If you're like me and you battle depression or feelings of hopelessness daily, let's try some things out so that we don't succumb to darkness so easily.

1. If you have support systems, I cannot stress enough how important it is to use them as much as possible. Talk about everything you can, especially if they are willing to listen. Anything could be a trigger. I remember not doing well in statistics in my sophomore year of college. I always knew that I was no good in math, but because I was doing badly and feeling miserable emotionally, I got super depressed and started thinking that I would never be worth anything. I know this isn't true and I know that my future career and worth in life has nothing to do with math, but darkness has a way of making things connect even when they clearly don't fit together.

2. Say five nice things to yourself everyday. They can be the same five things if you want, but try to switch  up once in awhile. You are important to at least one other person in your life, and they wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you. Pick something that you like to do and say something like "Hey, I see you sing a lot; I like your taste in music" or "Nice job at practice,I can see you're really skilled". Just things to boost yourself up. Even if you don't believe it, say it until you do. Hell, say it until it's true. Make it a goal.

3. Let yourself be helped. One of my main problems is that I'm stubborn and too independent. I won't allow others to get me out of my bad moods, encourage me, help in dire situations, or anything like that. You can't do everything alone and you don't have to. If someone wants to help you, for fuck's sake, please let them. They are obviously trying to show that they care about you. CHALLENGE: Let someone do at least two nice things for you a day. See how nice it feels to be cared about.

4. Set goals. Think of ways to distract yourself from sad thoughts. Partake in your favorite hobbies more often. Actually do your work on time. Go out and explore. Go see a movie. Set goals of progress like, "Today I'm going to finish that knitting project from two years ago" or "It's a nice day to go identify some trees by leaf" or "Today I'm going smile when someone tries to cheer me up" or even "I won't dwell on things I can't control". Just set goals for things that you can do when you're getting upset or to keep you from having the opportunity to get upset. Maybe even write them out the night before and tape them on the door. Look at them before you leave. If you need a reminder throughout the day, set little alarms or notifications to go off every few hours or however long you see fit to just remind you "Hey, you're awesome" or "Smile, because someone loves you" or even "Don't forget, there's pie at home and you have to be in a good mood to eat it or it won't taste good. Pie only tastes good when you eat it with happiness". Because it's true. Pie only tastes good with happiness... Don't judge me...

Anyway, these are just some starting points. I know you're in pain, but you have to remember that someone loves you and someone would want you to always be safe and care about yourself. When you can pick yourself up, it makes it easier for others to keep you standing tall.

Stay strong, everyone! And don't forget to check out my Youtube Channel.